plop

i want to be skinny. i want to be fucking skinny, i want to feel good with myself i want to look at the mirror and like what i see, i want to know that people look at me and think im pretty instead of critisizing me, i want to feel confident and i wished i was happy with the way i am.

i dont forget, i pretend i do, but i always remember the things that hurt me. i dont forgive, i say i do, but the hurt and anger remains on the back of my mind. i say i dont care, but i lie all the time, the truth is i do and lots.

if i didnt have him to make me smile when i feel down, i probably would not be writting this post. 

this is probably the last christmas i ever had, mom’s menopausic as fuck, gooosh so irritation, and my grandma died, what more do i need ><

I’m actually going to change for a guy, well, that’s what love makes to us, the need of having them in our lives

If only I could tell him how much he means to me…

If he only knew how much it scares me even the idea of he leaving me. I’ve come’d to need him, to love him with every inch of myself. 

I’ve come’d to trust him, he has becomes my bestfriend, my councillor, the person id turn to if i need anyone there, i need him, he has became part of me. 

If only I could tell him that when he is close even if I’m sad I feel happy, that if he is gone I feel empty, that when we fight it hurts me. That when he speaks to me, I can feel my heart beating faster. That when we get pissed at each other my heart sinks and shatters. That only with the idea of being without him hurts me so much. I love him. I love him so much. I love him like I’ve loved none before.

we dont talk the same anymore. and the worst is i know its all my fault and i cant help it, but i dont know, i dont know what to do, how to show you how i feel, and im going to loose you for knowing nothing. 

this isn’t what it used to be

Please don’t leave somebody waiting on you.